short-story, Totally Random, Uncategorized

Last Year // A short true story

P.S:  I felt the need to post this, so just bare with me. I’m lucky I even decided to post something my feelings… I hate being honest sometimes. 😉

As I opened the door and walked down the stairs toward the basement, my mind drifted away from the dirty laundry I was carrying and the real world.

I thought of that place, the one that changed my life. The place I’d never forget. The place I loved, even though I had only been there once, my first time being last year.

I smiled as memories of events from summer camp flooded my mind as I stared at a large red suitcase we found a few weeks earlier.

The guy who got me a Popsicle. The youth leader who bought me ice cream. The hoodie I had found on sale and bought, later finding that I accidentally got the wrong size. The emotional night when everyone wrote a name of that person who needed the Lord. The night so many people cried, realizing that their friend/family needs saving and the reality of it.

Then I looked away. Everything was different. Everything wasn’t what it was now. I wasn’t across the country. I wasn’t living in a new house. I wasn’t in Wisconsin.
I closed my eyes and thought of the area I had lived in for years.

My thoughts drifted towards him, the guy I had crushed on for awhile. And then I felt something pulling at me. I missed him… he was like family. And he told me the same. You’re like a sister to me. And coming from a guy with no sisters, I knew he was serious.

Then I thought of another different him, my latest crush. Something ate at my belly, creating an empty hole in my stomach. I missed his jokes, I missed his laugh, I missed how happy he made me when I felt down. I thought of how shy I was around him, even more than usual, and smiled. Then I thought of how I felt appreciated every-time I even talked to him, which was weird…

I thought of the girl that always had something great to say. Then a memory hit me. I remembered telling her ‘May the Fourth be with you’ on her birthday at church on Wednesday.

California. I left so much behind…
Living in the desert and suffering when summer flew in…. and yet I was happy. Then looking deeper, I knew I was unhappy there as well.

I dropped the dirty laundry in a basket, eyes dull.
I knew I’d see them again next month and at summer camp in July.

But my heart still ached, knowing I would never be there for activities again. No more parties. No more lock-in. No more earning money for camp. Then I nearly cried, thinking of my grandparents and great grandma.

I lived in the Golden state for most of my life and I left everything I ever knew behind to move to Wisconsin. I’ll never understand why the Lord had changed so much, with the trip to Wisconsin in February starting it all.

As I petted my cat, one thing I knew for sure was that this new place would never feel like home to me. Perhaps in the future things will be different, for I will trust the Lord.

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid: for the LORD JEHOVAH is my strength and my song…” Isaiah 12:2 KJV

~ Crystal


8 thoughts on “Last Year // A short true story”

  1. Ah, I’m sorry, Crystal! I can’t imagine moving … I’ve lived here all my life, and I don’t know if I could ever, ever get over moving! I’m glad you were able to put your trust in the Lord … I don’t know if I would be able to! I have a pretty weak faith. But I’d hope I’d be able to! Would you like me to pray for you or …?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes please do. Honestly, I do have a weak faith right now. I kind of feel bitter too… not towards God.. but towards what? I don’t know, but I’ll discover it soon enough hopefully.
      To be honest, I sometimes don’t know where to turn to (though WordPress helps 🙂 )… so thank you for your wonderful support and awesome posts! ❤ Reveries!
      BTW, I’m feeling like I’m making my blog a little self-centered…. does it seem that way to you? I really dislike giving myself attention, but I guess I do it anyway.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I understand. I’m like that about a lot of things. I just don’t get it, especially about one circumstance in my life. Of course, the thing I’m bitter about it something I just kind of walk away from … and that’s an option for me, which is nice. But it’s still there.
        Ah, thanks! Yes, there’s always the all-embracing interest ( 😉 ) … but the best thing to do is to turn to God, of course. He’s always there for you!
        No, no, it’s okay! I mean, first, it’s your blog; second, it’s really cool to show yourself as … a real person. I don’t usually do that on my blog, so I applaud your bravery! And sometimes you do need to talk about yourself a little, anyway.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I just want it to be a blog that people can see Jesus through… and I’m really not doing a good job of that. I do have some posts I thought of doing that would fall under that. Maybe I should just get to work on them and stop being lazy. 😛

        Liked by 2 people

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